By A Mystery Man Writer
This week, Vogue declared the return of the low-rise pant. We present scenes from the last low-rise revival, as a cautionary tale.
Beyoncé
So central was the belly in our consciousness that a low-rise jean was not enough. We also needed jackets with fancy, swoopy cutouts, and to put shiny jewelry in our belly buttons, in case your reptilian brain missed all the other cues as to where you should be looking.
Keira Knightley
We're pretty sure Knightley, shown here at the Pirates premiere in 2003, just brazenly sliced open the front of a peasant blouse to force the world into grudging admiration of her abs.
Pink
Pink one-upped Mariah's cut-off waistband by actually removing the entire side of her jeans, leaving her with weird, floating, nonfunctional pockets, and us with yet another indelible fashion memory courtesy of Pink: Where trends go to die.
Jennifer Lopez
Okay, actually, we're cool with this look, Jen.
Christina Aguilera
I don't like taking it here any more than you do. But, we're pretty sure Nostradamus wrote a quatrain about how when three-inch denim scraps become skirts, and scarves become shirts, and you steal a newsie's hat, and your belly chains are longer than your pants, the end is nigh.
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