The 009 Black Tuxedo Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear – Bre's Gifts

By A Mystery Man Writer

Name's Dong. James, Dong. Dress your genitals to the 9s with these black tie tuxedo boxers. Why? Because first impressions are everything. That's why they offed Bambi’s mom in the first scene of the movie. Who’s gonna watch 90 minutes about a deer unless there’s some serious grit to it, maybe even the possibility of a Punisher level redemption plot? Like, why else would Bambi befriend someone named ‘Thumper’? But we’re getting off track. The point is you should always dress to impress. No one wants to sputter along in a Toyota Echo when they can roll up in a stretch hummer limousine. People notice the difference. Size matters. That’s why these high-class bow-tied nut huggers matter.

SHINESTY BALL HAMMOCK®

Pouch Underwear Technology

The Pouch

An extra piece of fabric that keeps your stones from slipping into the gooch, helps prevent ball-to-leg velcro and cradles your nuts on the wings of an angel.

The Fabric

MicroModal is 3x softer than cotton, ultra-breathable and wicks away sweat (yours or otherwise).

The Magic

These ball cradling wonders have bulge enhancing technologies to turn any grower into a shower.

The Technicals

Every Ball Hammock® features 4-way stretch, gusseted crotch, no itch flatlock stitching, anti-bunching construction and an invisible map to the lost city of Atlantis.